Anonymous asked: Vastderp, what exactly is the defining characteristic of self-pity that sets it apart from genuine sadness?
self-pity has a few major characteristics:
- Catastrophizing things (phrases with “never” and “always” usually fit this)
- Repetition of the complaint
- Inability to move on to the “fixing shit” stage
- Blaming others
- Fixation on what you “deserve” versus what you got
- Irrational expectations of others to make the problem go away
- Anger when they don’t
- Responds to all advice with excuses
- Stubbornly refuses to make any changes
but i wouldn’t know which one to single out as the most obvious.
self-pity is not necessarily separate from sadness, imo. i would say it’s a form of prolonged sadness that lacks initiative to make it better.